On this show, they set up situations in public to see what people do.
For example, on one episode, they set up a woman and a little boy in a bar. Acting as mother and son, the woman drinks excessively and the little boy is clearly upset. He keeps asking his 'mom' to stop and take him to soccer practice. In almost every set up of the incident, someone stepped in in various ways. One woman waited until the mom went to the bathroom and then helped the boy call his 'father'. Some patrons told the manager about the situation, while others call 9-1-1. I like watching this show and am fascinated by the people who step in, and by those who don't.
After each set-up, host John Quinones steps in to talk to the people who reacted to the scene.
Sometimes the things people say are quite amazing.
Recently on an episode, a young Jewish couple came into a bakery and asked a man working in the bakery to hang up a sign about an event at their nearby Temple. Again, the couple and the man were actors. The bakery worker refused to hang up the sign and berated Jewish couple.
Many customers simply left the bakery saying they wouldn't do business there. Some chastised the bakery worker very loudly. But, one man, a gentleman with silver hair and a New York accent, actually agreed with the bakery worker. His reasoning was that the couple was pushing their beliefs on someone else. He said he held no ill will toward the couple, by he was tired of pushy people and that he feels that Jewish people are pushy. He did agree that the clerk said some nasty things, but he very clearly had some anti-semetic views of his own.
Clearly, the purpose of this show is to make you ask what you would do in certain situations.
While we're not faced with many of the situations that they set up on the show, I'm convinced that everyone has had many "What Would You Do?" moments.
I can think a few right now.
The first happened a few years ago. After a meeting with my writer's group, a producer asked me to gather samples from each writer to submit for possible future assignments. I gathered all of the samples from the writers and got them ready to deliver to the producer. I checked mine again and again to make sure it had everything. I'm not sure how, but I noticed that one writer had, I'm sure, inadvertently left off the last page of his sample. I was due to deliver the material the next morning. I called and left a message for the writer and said that I was making the delivery in the morning. He never called back. I dropped off the samples as they were.
But, when I mentioned this to another friend of mine, he said I shouldn't have called the guy. He said that it was his responsibility to deliver a finished product and that his carelessness just showed why he shouldn't get the job. Then my friend said something else that was interesting.
"Aren't you in competition with this other writer? I mean the producer is looking for one writer. You could have not delivered any of the other samples and then you would have gotten the job."
He was right. I was in competition with all of the writers.
But by then it was all done. I had done what I thought was right. And, truth be told, I really don't think I would have done anything differently even if I had thought about the competition part. That's just not in my nature. Everyone in my writing group is a good writer and deserves to work. And, the hope is that if we all help each other, we will all work.
In the end, the producer didn't hire any of the writers from my group. The last I heard, she wasn't producing anything anymore.
My second dilemma happened a few months ago.
I was walking into my building at about 8:30pm and a woman was walking out. I had never seen her before. She made some comment and I responded. It was obvious that she was either drunk or high.
As she was leaving my building rather than entering, chances were high that she was going to be driving somewhere.
I could feel my pulse race, not really knowing what to do.
For a moment, I turned away and thought, "not my problem".
But... it was my problem.
I didn't say anything, but I kind of covertly followed her out of the building. I watched to see if she got in a car. She didn't. She walked toward the main street a block away. Should I keep following her to make sure she doesn't get hit by a car, I wondered. But once I saw her turn onto that street without getting into a car, I felt like I'd done my duty and she was on her own. She wasn't so drunk that she couldn't walk. Did I do enough?
What about someone who may or may not be in need? Often when I'm out running I see things.
I saw a young woman sitting on a curb wailing into a cell phone. I couldn't understand what she was saying but she was crying as hard as I've seen anyone cry. I didn't stop. I reasoned that she was talking to someone so they knew what was going on. Near the end of my run, I circled around to see if she was still there. She wasn't.
Another time, I saw what appeared to be a very young girl with a baby waiting at a bus stop in very hot weather. She flagged me down and asked me how far away a street was and how long I thought it would take on the bus. She had no car seat and was just holding the baby in her arms. I wanted to tell her to stay put and I would get my car and drive her, but I was pretty far away from home at that point. I thought about waiting with her but I didn't. I kept hoping the bus would get there. I even changed my route a little to see if the bus went by. Finally, I had to turn to head home and the bus had not come yet. I thought about that girl and that baby for quite awhile.
The one that I think about a lot is the old man. I was running and an elderly man carrying a small cooler crossed about a half a block in front of me to reach the front doors of a church. He pulled on the doors and they didn't open. He seemed very upset, making wimpering noises. He rattled and rattled those doors. He clearly didnt know what to do. I didn't know what to do. I ran past him. I got about half a block away and couldn't take it. I turned around. He was gone. Had the church doors opened for him? Nope. I checked and they were still locked. I don't know where he went, but to this day, and this was over fifteen years ago, I still think about that man and wonder what was wrong with me that I didn't immediately do something.
I like to think that I would always jump in to help someone but maybe I wouldn't. I clearly didn't there. I don't know how I feel about this but it obvious that this incident still bothers me. Has it changed me? I can honestly say that I don't know.
Now to leave you with a little less dramatic "What Would You Do?" situation, here's a good one.
The other day I was driving into the parking lot of the grocery store and there was a little boy, I'd say about seven or eight years old. He was peeing on the wall of the grocery store, and get this, a woman was standing as look out for him. An elderly woman.
I shook my head in disbelief. I was making up my mind to say something when, as I got out of my car, I saw another woman step up. Of course I totally listened in. The elderly woman explained that her grandson just had to go, he couldn't wait. The woman told the grandmother that this was just unacceptable, that the boy needed to be taught to use the bathroom and not urinate in public. The grandmother was adament that she'd done nothing wrong. The boy started to cry. The woman consoled the boy but continued to disagree with the grandmother. It never got heated but the women were clearly at an impass. A man who, like me, had obviously been listening in, stepped up and pulled the boy aside. He talked with the boy and this seemed to help the boy. The grandmother and the woman basically agreed to disagree, but the grandmother did say she would think about what the woman had said and was sorry that she upset people, especially her grandson.
Truthfully, I was glad that I didn't have to get involved. And I was glad to see that other people did step up to 'counsel' someone on proper behavior in public.
The "What Would You Do?" dilemmas are endless really. I'm sure I'll write more some of them in the future.
I am curious about your experiences in this area. Please share if you like. My readers and I would totally appreciate it.
"What Would You Do?" airs on ABC on Friday nights at 9/8c.
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